egg-rolls:

my hobbies include being right and petting other peoples cats

lavour:

i named my town “my butt” and it’s probably the best decision i’ve ever made

breadmaakesyoufat:

i just heard a bouncing noise and then that was followed by my dad saying

"oh no my potato"

privetdriven:

i only stay inside to avoid paparazzi

astrobit:

i hope my neighbors know they live next to a celebrity

thesorrovv:

ma’am im sorry but that baby was due today, i don’t care if its not done just turn in what you have

hoekage:

the main thing i look forward to in life is raising dogs w/ someone i love

diancie:

beyonseh:

she’s so well mosturized i love it 

This makes me want to wash my face. Actually I’m gonna go do that, brb

imascientistofmusic:

sizvideos:

Video

Happened to me when i used my ex’s last name. Ostrom is way more employable than Balderas, who knew?

darkpathos:

"You either die a hero or live long enough to become a villain." 

jackedoff:

turn on: when all my coloring pencils are sharpened and pointy

browngirlblues:

her-name-is-wena:

browngirlblues:

I hate it when men make unsolicited comments about a woman’s body. Like “she’s got a nice shape but she needs to tighten up her stomach”

How about you tighten up your lips and never speak again you ignorant shit.

Wow maybe you need to accept constructive criticism jesus christ.

Men telling me (or any other woman) what I need to do for them to find me sexually attractive is not constructive criticism.

liftedandgiftedd:

I hope whoever I marry is ready to have a ton of sex all the time.

HOLYCASTIELS